The day my daughter was born, I let myself go. I know that sounds dramatic, but it's true. The second my doctor put my 8 pound baby on my chest, I unconsciously told myself I now come second. I won't eat until my daughter's food is ready. I won't shower until she's been bathed first. I won't work unless she's napping (I'm only able to write this because she finally went down for her second nap, praise Jesus).
Everything I do is for her. Everything I do NOT do is for her. I'm basically a slave to a one year old. And I'm totally cool with it, because I love her more than anything on the planet...here comes the big BUT...Who takes care of me? Who will put ME first?
If you're a mom, I'm sure you've asked yourself that question before. Want to know the answer? YOU! You have to put yourself first. Have you ever asked your children, "Is it okay if mommy goes to the movies without you?" Of course you haven't, because you probably won't like the answer. We can't expect alone time to come to us, we have to MAKE the time. If you don't, you'll start to lose yourself. I know I did. I started to forget the old me. Who even was I? I started to believe my name was Mama, not Kristin. Man, I missed that girl. She was a cool chick.
Remember when your baby was first born, and you forgot what the inside of a shower looked like? I'm kidding, kind of. Those first few weeks are brutal. Your hair is a mop. You have week old stains on your sweatpants. God only knows when the last time you shaved your legs was. If you got to sleep for more than 45 minutes it felt like winning the lottery. Now that your baby is sleeping through the night, and you pretty much have a routine down, why not spend some time focusing on yourself?
Oh right, mom guilt. Mom guilt can suck it. Me and her are not friends. Don't let her get to you! She is not real! She doesn't have your best interest at heart. That's your responsibility. Want to have a "me" day? Let me tell you how.
As the poetic Shia LaBeouf would say, "JUST DO IT!"
Okay but for real, here's what you do:
1. Get someone to watch your children.
This is the hardest part, especially if you don't have family around. But a "me" day is about YOU, so if possible, get your spouse or partner to stay with the kids. They don't need to tag along.
2. Relax.
If you don't, you won't enjoy yourself. The baby is fine. Your kids are fine. This is your time to focus on YOU.
3. Figure out what to do.
Get a massage, get your nails done, get a tattoo, whatever floats your boat. The last "me day" I had, I got a pedicure and two new piercings. (Mom-life crisis, anyone?)
If you don't want to spend money, you can do your own nails at home, do a face mask, take a bubble bath, read that book that's been sitting on your shelf, or even take a glorious nap.
Whatever you do, treat yourself with kindness and grace, because you deserve it!
Comment on this blog post and tell me what plans you have for your next "me day!"
-Kristin, owner + creator of Free the Mother
xoxo
1 comment
Dani
Hey lady! I know I’m super late to this party, but! This is a question I’ve asked a lot of moms in my immediate circle. If, we are the creators of these schedules, why do we not factor ourselves into them. We put so much effort into forcing babies to eat when we want, sleep when we want, and play when we want, why not schedule the baby around ourselves. I only say this because I fully have been doing this from day one. I was not ready to give up myself. I had this mentality that this little thing strapped to my body most of the day didn’t need anything more that 2 feet away from me, so wherever I decided to go they would tag along, if they wanted to sleep, they could wherever we were, if they were hungry let me whip out the chichi, shower and bath time, kill two birds with one stone, jump right in baby!! My first 2 are 2 1/2 years apart to the day, and I would shower with both of them together… I would nurse the youngest on the floor of the tub while my oldest played and learned to wash himself. Anyway my point is, we have this idea that they should have their own schedules, but they are now part of an already established family. Side note I am not an easily saddened mother, when they cry I don’t get sad, when they aren’t on my hip I don’t miss them, don’t get me wrong I am attached to my kids, they all slept in my bed till they were 3 and nursed till they were 2, but I am a seperate person from them, and I wanted them to know right from the beginning that it is ok to be away from mama!!!
Hey lady! I know I’m super late to this party, but! This is a question I’ve asked a lot of moms in my immediate circle. If, we are the creators of these schedules, why do we not factor ourselves into them. We put so much effort into forcing babies to eat when we want, sleep when we want, and play when we want, why not schedule the baby around ourselves. I only say this because I fully have been doing this from day one. I was not ready to give up myself. I had this mentality that this little thing strapped to my body most of the day didn’t need anything more that 2 feet away from me, so wherever I decided to go they would tag along, if they wanted to sleep, they could wherever we were, if they were hungry let me whip out the chichi, shower and bath time, kill two birds with one stone, jump right in baby!! My first 2 are 2 1/2 years apart to the day, and I would shower with both of them together… I would nurse the youngest on the floor of the tub while my oldest played and learned to wash himself. Anyway my point is, we have this idea that they should have their own schedules, but they are now part of an already established family. Side note I am not an easily saddened mother, when they cry I don’t get sad, when they aren’t on my hip I don’t miss them, don’t get me wrong I am attached to my kids, they all slept in my bed till they were 3 and nursed till they were 2, but I am a seperate person from them, and I wanted them to know right from the beginning that it is ok to be away from mama!!!