20 Things I Learned In My 20's

20 Things I Learned In My 20's

To the Mom Who Refuses Help: Stop It Reading 20 Things I Learned In My 20's 7 minutes

I turned 30 this year so I can't help but reflect on my twenties. I mean, these were serious life-changing years. I went from starting my twenties living with roommates and going to college, to being a mom of two, wife and business owner. I feel like I've lived nine different lives (I am a Leo after all). So, without further ado, here are 20 things I learned in my twenties:

You don't need EVERYTHING figured out yet

I am the type who always plans ahead. I am constantly dwelling on the future. When I was younger, if I wasn't 10 steps ahead, I felt behind. Overtime, I realized that't not necessary. Life happens when it's supposed to happen. By focusing too much on the future, I noticed myself not appreciating the present moments.   

It's okay if you haven't accomplished all your goals yet

30 IS NOT OLD. You still have plenty of time to accomplish your goals. And guess what? You're going to have new goals in your 30's. Life isn't over after you turn 30. In fact, it is just beginning.

Being a people pleaser is overrated

More self pleasure, less people pleasing. Can I get a hell yeah?! I feel like in our twenties, we try so hard to get people to like us. Or maybe that was just me...What I've learned is people will like you or they won't. It's out of your control. The only person that needs to like you is YOU.

You don't need to add sugar in your coffee

Flavored creamer makes your coffee plenty sweet. I used to add flavored creamer AND sugar. One day I skipped the sugar and just added creamer and my coffee tasted the exact same as it does when I added sugar. I was blown away, and frankly grossed out at the fact I used to drink so much sugar. Try it, seriously.

You don't need to be a size 0 to be happy

Happiness doesn't come from the number on the scale or the size of your pants. Happiness comes from within. Trust me, when I was at my skinniest, I was miserable. Now at my heaviest, I am the happiest I've ever been. Weird huh?

Playing it safe gets you nowhere

Making moves is about taking risks. There is a time and place to "play it safe," but don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. That's where the lessons come from.

Always trust your instincts

When I first became a mom, I didn't know what I was doing. I mean, what first time mom does? Sure, you can listen to the advice from your mom or friends, but bottom line is, your instincts will tell you what to do or what not to do. Moms have that superpower. 

Don't be afraid to use your voice

Even if it shakes. Even if you're afraid you'll stumble over your words, use your voice. It's more powerful than you realize. The world needs to hear what you have to say.

Communication is everything

More specifically, honest and intentional communication. Don't expect people to be mind readers. Express yourself. Especially when it comes to your partner. Communication is fundamental when it comes to relationships. Without it, you have nothing but problems.

Therapy is cool

After years of avoiding it, I finally started going to therapy. Let me tell you, it works. I've learned more about myself in one year than I have in 29 years. Working on yourself is nothing to be ashamed of. It's admirable.

Your "flaws" make you special

I put quotations because I don't believe they are really flaws. I've learned over the last 10 years that rather than hating our struggles, we should embrace them. They make us who we are, they make us unique. Fitting in is boring anyway.

If you're unhappy about something, change it

Life is short, but the years can seem long when you are miserable. If you don't like the way life Is going, maybe some changes are in order. Whether that be your job, relationship, lifestyle, etc. Do what makes you happy. Point blank period.

Life doesn't have to go "exactly as planned"

 If we could actually plan our life, wouldn't it be kind of boring? Embrace the changes and make them work in your favor. Life might turn out better than you even imagined.

Solo traveling is life-changing

For my 30th birthday, I took my first overnight solo trip across the country. I was away from my kids and my husband for the first time. At first I was worried (cause i'm a mom and that's what moms do), but as soon as my plane took off, I felt amazing. I felt alive. Need a recharge? Travel alone. You'll thank me later.

Sexuality is fluid

What you were into when you were a teenager may not be what you're into now and vice versa. Nothing is wrong with you.

Your hobby can be a career

I grew up being told I needed to go to college and get a job that pays well. While I believe that's true for some people, that doesn't have to be everyone's path. Some people struggle to pick a major they are genuinely interested in. If you have a hobby that you enjoy, maybe you can make a living from it. There are countless ways to make money. 

Age really is just a number

It should not define your your style, your hobbies, or your interests. Wear that cropped top, get your nose pierced, go to a Justin Bieber concert. Who cares how old you are? Live your life.

Friends come and go and thats okay

People who come into your life are not always meant to be there forever. Seasons change, people change, it's apart of life. Don't stress too much over it. They may come back into your life later on, or they may not. You'll make new friends who fit into your current season. 

You can be a mom AND your own person

I hate the saying "your life is over after you have kids." So rude and far from true. You can still have a life and identity outside of motherhood, AND YOU SHOULD. When you first have a baby, those lines get blurred because babies need you for literally everything. But the person you were before having kids shouldn't be forgotten. The old you and the new you should blend together in harmony.

Letting go of toxic people is not mean, it's necessary

But if you can't let them go for whatever reason, setting boundaries is crucial. Your mental health matters. 

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And there you have it! I hope this blog helps you in some way. I'm sure I'll learn 30 new things in the next decade. I'll let you know in 2031.

<3 Kristin

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